THANKGOD they have gone i was about to crack up this

Weekend.
As some of you know i have two step kids that are extremely hard work and am positive suffer from behaviourable problems.
Well this week i have been in tears - I have been shot in the face with a toy dart tag gun which has left a big mark on the side of my face by his son. His daughter has been just unbearable this weekend, the worst weekend ive witnessed.
Shes swore, not slept, constantly cried and winged, shes so agressive, you can see the hatred and jealousy in her screwed up face towards my daughter. Iam just so worried my little one is going to pick up and copy her agressive behaviour.
Been really down this weeknd, its draining me, wished i had worked it now! H2b is quite strict - but it falls on deaf ears - i personally think living in 2 homes is unstettling for them. But what about my daughter and me? Its starting to affect us now.
HELP

Awww hun, it must be so hard for you. If I am honest, i think you need to have a chat with h2b about it. He needs to know his "little darling" are actually spoilt, attention seeking little brats, and that if he doesn't do something about it, you are going to snap. Can't he sit them down and explain that while they're in your house they need to behave? It's not good for you, and it's not good for your daughter to see. Hugs. x

Thanks Charlie - your a sweetie
I have just been to a high impact dance class so ive just let out alot of frustration there lol!
I know - i want to talk to h2b, i just dont know how to go about saying it to him without upsetting him or arguing with him - but i just think they will get worse if nothing is done - iam not so concerned about me its my daughter iam worried about as hi girl seems to be taking out the anger and spitefullness on her.
The thing is h2b really does think the sun shines out of there asses - i guess when its your own kids you dont see it?! x

Sweetie you have to go all Supernanny on their asses!! Do NOT put up with behaviour that you wouldnt accept off your own daughter. There is no reason for you to take crap off his kids, I can imagine you are nothing but good to them.

Surely he must know that his kids are hard work? That they are nasty and behaving badly? Surely he wants to do something to control their behaviour?

The only thing I will suggest is that when you do sit down and talk to him about it, dont mention that your daughter is 'good' and his is 'bad'. Probably not the best way to start the conversation by comparing your kids!

x x

Aw bless - thanks Zeps!
Good advice off you. I def agree with not comparing kids, i dont think it would go down too well....i know all kids are different, i know my daughter is not perfect by any means but i know the difference between a well behaved happy child and a unsettled naughty child.
Trouble is i dont think h2b does.
The thing is i know when i start talking to him hell just start saying theve had a bad time with theie parents break up ( hello it was 4 years ago) and that its so tough on them....HELLO my daughters dad dosent even want to know her we have no family around us supporting us, His kids have all there family around them, if it were anyone who should of been unsettled it should of been my one...GGGRRR - Sorry hun going off on one again now - just makes me soo angry. As i know he will not accept their crap behaviour for some reason, i try to disipline as much as i can but i find it hard as there not my own.
Thanks for your number hun - i dropped my phone so untill i get a new one havnt got anyones numbers

It is hard to see fault with your own kids, you obviously don't look for it, but a good parent will notice the signs when they are there and do something about it. If they are out of control something needs to be done. I've never had to play "step mum", but I can imagine it would be very hard. On the one hand you want to disipline the kids, but on the other hand you don't feel it's your responsibility to do so. Perhaps suggest to h2b that you struggle with 3 kids all at one time, and you'd like to put some order back into the atmosphere, and put some disipline measures inplace for all of the kids, including your little girl. A naughty step or something. Then of course you little girl won't be sat on it very often, but his will, and they'll soon learn.

Really though hun, you need to do something, you can't carry on allowing them to be monsters. What are they like in their mums house? The same or do they behave? Maybe they're naughty at your house because they know their dads as soft as sh1t with them, and they know that you are uncomfortable with he idea of displining them? Could be totally wrong, but there has to be a reason they are behaving so badly. Kids need an authority figure around at all times, or they'll run riot. You must have the patience o a saint, because personally by now if I were you I would've snapped, told h2b to sort his brats out or keep them the hell away from me! lol x

haha
I feel like saying that most of the time hun..i really do, to the point i just go in a quiet room and cry lol
You are so right, i just dont feel like its my job to be telling them off - but i did yday when he pelted that toy gun thing at me! It had got to the point by then and id had enough - i was so glad to see the back of them today - and thats awful as i shouldnt be feeling this way. Iam starting to feel resentful to his daughter - the more she bullies and calls my little one names etc thee more i just cant even look at her! I know it sounds mean , but she is jus not a nice little girl if honest. It really is hard hun - and i feel stuck between a rock and a hard place.
I think a naughty step sounds a good idea - althou his son is a big lad of 8 and resentful and cheeky i just cant see him sitting there!
H2b and his ex dont really communicate or get on - h2b beleives the less he talks to her the better! What a crap way to be, but as a result theres no communication there for the kids and they are the ones suffering due to there parents childish behaviour! Apparently according to everyone else she is a selfish woman who is more interested in money grabbing off us/going on hols with her mates/and buying clothes - i can vouch for all of that as ive seen it. To be honest hun - i feel like ive stepped into this mixed up broken family to pick up the peices.
I speak to My daughters nursery teacher as she knows them and she reckons i should go and talk to there mum about sorting it out. But then id feel like iam betraying h2b?

Right well in that case hun you need to tell h2b that if he doesn't speak to their mother about their behaviour, then you will. Atleast that's giving him the choice. I hate to say it hun but it seems like you're always very worried about upsetting your h2b, in repect of allowing him to not tell his parents about the wedding, and as far as his kids are concerned. But how much longer do you plan on walking on egg shells around him? You need to tell him like it is. Yes it may cause arguements, but you holding it all in and building it up isn't healthy, trust me, it'll all come out in the end anyway, if you're anything like me it will be during an alcohol fueled arguement, and that's not the best thing. He won't like hearing that his kids are little sh1ts, but he has to be told (in a more fragile way of course!). You need to talk to him. And if you really feel you can't talk to him, then just put the trousers on and do it all yourself. Go tell his parents, go speak to the kids' mother. If he's not got the bollocks to do it then you have to. Otherwise you might end up resenting him because of his kids behaviour too. Someone has to take control of the situation, coz at the moment it seems like the kids have control, and that's not healthy babe. x

Your hitting the nail on there head hun!
They do over take and rule the roost - i think h2b lets it happen as he is trying to over compensate for not being there fulltime for them.
LOL you are like me then - we have drunken rows where it usually consist of me getting legless and then it gets messy - not what i want, spes when the kids are corcerned. I wont see him tonight as he is working till gone 10 - But i think i will work out what i want to say and just do it -
Thanks hun, your advice really has helped me here, in person or not in person i needed to get this out before i cracked up.
I used to think it were me being the 'nasty stap mum' but its not as everyone i talk to who knows them - says the same! Even my neighbour who has a son in the same year says she want have his 2 over anymore as there so bad. Says it all dosent it. x

Thats the thing with the naughty step though, it doesnt matter if they want to sit on it, you NEED to keep putting them back on it, and on it, and on it, and on it till they get the message that they WILL sit on it for a length of time! Its a battle of wills mrs, and you cannot be beaten by a bratty 8 year old!!

EWW they def follow there mother annoying bratty ways!

About the 8 year old and the naughty step, is there no other punishment that could apply to him? ie: no TV for an hour, or take his (DS/PSP/enter name of games console here) away for a bit?

I still put my 8 year old on the naughty step sometimes, but I find that taking his DS away for a bit or his playstation is far more effective!

And yes, h2b and I only argue when I'm p1ssed , but in my defence that's normally because he has wound me up so much that I drink to calm myself down, but it goes the other way and I just stew in my own juices, until I finally errupt and call him all the names under the sun! lol. It's not healthy though. So now I make a consious effort to try to tell him if he's upset me, before I go get drunk!