My mum starts chemo on Tuesday-a wee update (wed 3rd)

Well, she went in to hospital yesterday to start her first round of treatment, she was texting me all day and was in really good form, we went in to see her last night, and although she felt a bit crap she was really cheery, more treatment today and she got home this afternoon, she feels okay, and is so positive it puts the rest of the family to shame! After seeing her in hospital last night i was in bits as she was in a ward with some obviously very ill ladies and the thought of her being as sick as that is really upsetting me. But like I say, she is in a really good mindset and the rest of us are following her lead, she's done great and I'm so proud of her, I'm knackered from 3 days of blubbing though!

Hi,
This will be a long moan, I just need to get it off my chest tonight.
As some of you already know I got married in Cyprus in December, when we first booked the plan was thet it would be hubby, my son and myself with no-one else going, my mum got so worked up about not being there that we ended up with my mum and dad and hubbys sister, her hubby and daughter coming and we had an amazing time. We had a party here when we got back which was great. A couple of days after our party I met my mum in the health centre where I work and could see that she was really upset, she had found a lump in her groin and been to see her GP who referred her for tests, the outcome after weeks of tests and appointments is that she has cancer and starts chemo next week. She has said that she noticed it the day before our party and had got to the doctors as soon as she could, but after her biopsy I was changing her dressing and there is no way that a lump that size appeared in a week, I'm convinced that she knew and didn't do anything as we were going to Cyprus and I feel really crap about that, I know that seeing her GP earlier wouldn't change he fact that it is cancer, but I feel that she put our wedding before her own health and am having a major guilt trip about that. So now she is facing 6 months of chemo and I'm finding putting on a brave face when I'm with her and also at home for my 13 year old son a bit much tonight, I went to see her earlier and she is so scared and I don't know how to help her. It's a horrible time and I'm feeling sorry for myself tonight as hubby is at work.
No need for any replies, just wanted to get it out

Aw sweetie - BIG hugs to you
Cant imagine what youare going through - i think cancer is a dreaded thought in the back of everyones minds, and when it happens the pain must be unbearable.
I hope her chemo goes well, keep strong, the wedding will keep her strong - I think thats mums for you, they like to put a brave face on and put everyone and everything first before themselves, but concentrating on postive things like you big day will get her through.
Iam here anytime you need a rant or just need to get it all out xxx

Awww hun, big hugs. Maybe the biopsy made the lump swell, so it wasn't as big as it appeared to be when you changed her dressing? Either way, don't feel guilty, if your mum did put the wedding first it was her choice, not yours. There's no way you could have possibly known about it. Try to stay strong. x

Oh honey that is awful and I really do understand in a sense how you feel. My mum 10 years ago was diagnosed with Breast cancer and hid it from us as my sister was pregnant, I was sitting my exams and she didn't want us to worry. It breaks my heart to think that I was away on a clubbing holiday celebrating the exams being over and my mum was going through what she was. I began to realise that it was in my mum to protect us all and it made her happy to see us happy as I am sure you mum was also. My mum was given 20% survial rate and 10 years on and she is fitting fit. I won't lie to you that it is so hard watching someone you love go through chemo as its posion that is fighting the cancer so does take away that person for a short while but is going through the bad for good. Your mum may be really low at times and need alot of help but try and keep her smiling too and I can assure you it will be worth it. Remember to give yourself time to cry too as you are going through alot too at this time.

Aww sweetie, sending some big ((((hugs)))) and much love your way.

Can you ask your doctor about getting a McMillan nurse to help your mum and talk to her? I had bowel cancer when I was 19 and had to have major surgery, and I had a fantastic McMillan nurse to help me though it. I was lucky (if you can call it lucky) that I didnt need chemo as my cancer was a genetic one, I just had surgery. So I dont know personally how hard it is. But my nurse was on call anytime for me to talk to, to cry to, to moan at! She had a wealth of knowledge so was able to answer pretty much any questions I had.

And please dont blame yourself for your mum not telling you. Yes she might have kept quiet because it was your wedding, but she probably just needed the time to be 'normal' and not think about it. And telling you wouldnt have made her diagnosis any better, you know? My mum actually died from the same cancer I had (please dont think im trying to scare you). When I found out I had it I was really scared, convinced I was going to die. But Ive since learned that my mum didnt tell anyone what she was going through, as she had 5 kids (I was only 3 when she died) and she just kept putting off doing anything about it. I still dont really understand why. Im just saying this to tell you that if its caught early and is treated, the survival rates are really good nowadays as compared to 10 years+ ago.

All you can do is be there for her, talk to her if she wants to talk, take her mind off it if she doesnt. Yes she will be poorly during her treatment, so just make sure that she knows you are there for her.

x x x

Hi hun, so sorry to hear this, I have just lost my mum to cancer 2 weeks before xmas and it was so sudden, she did not even get a chance to have chemo. Cancer is something which is scary and affects so many people but the best thing I can say is just be there for her throughout her treatment. Having the support will be the best thing for her and I, like you did not know what to say to my own mum, there are just no words sometimes. Life is so hard and unpredicatable. Really wish you and your family the best of luck, chin up xxx

Thanks everyone for your really kind messages, I have had a much better day today and am feeling a lot more positive, too much time on my own isn't a good idea just now! We will just have to take each day at a time-the next few months are going be hard going on all of us, but we will get through it, thanx x

missusS wrote:Thanks everyone for your really kind messages, I have had a much better day today and am feeling a lot more positive, too much time on my own isn't a good idea just now! We will just have to take each day at a time-the next few months are going be hard going on all of us, but we will get through it, thanx x

I am glad to hear it love. I was thinking about you last night. Keep that chin up and surround yourself with things that make you smile. xx

Glad to feel your more positive - taking each day as it comes is the best way forward.
Let us know her progress x

Just a quickie to let you know how well mum is doing. She has started to lose her hair already which she is finding a bit hard, but a day in Glasgow yesterday to check if my new wedding ring was in, lunch at Roganos and shopping in Radley soon sorted that out! We had a great day and have spent today in Paisley getting her wig-which is amazing, it looks fantastic, and a wee bit more shopping. She is doing soooooo well and is determined not to take this lying down, although she is getting a bit fed up with all the hospital appointments! Anyway, that's all I just wanted to add a wee update

Thats really good to hear mrs!

x x

zepsgal (admin) wrote:Thats really good to hear mrs!

x x

Thanks, I think I'm feeling better cos I've taken a couple of days off work and have managed to destress and catch up on some sleep! Even though I've spent all my time off running mum here there and everywhere and jumping every time she clicks her fingers! lol

missusS wrote:

zepsgal (admin) wrote:Thats really good to hear mrs!

x x

Thanks, I think I'm feeling better cos I've taken a couple of days off work and have managed to destress and catch up on some sleep! Even though I've spent all my time off running mum here there and everywhere and jumping every time she clicks her fingers! lol

lol, thats the only perk of being sick, people do nice things for you if you ask! lol
x x

missusS wrote:Just a quickie to let you know how well mum is doing. She has started to lose her hair already which she is finding a bit hard, but a day in Glasgow yesterday to check if my new wedding ring was in, lunch at Roganos and shopping in Radley soon sorted that out! We had a great day and have spent today in Paisley getting her wig-which is amazing, it looks fantastic, and a wee bit more shopping. She is doing soooooo well and is determined not to take this lying down, although she is getting a bit fed up with all the hospital appointments! Anyway, that's all I just wanted to add a wee update

Aw sounds like you had a good day, big hugs to you both xx