Feeling a bit rubbish........

Hey girls,

I am feeling a bit duff and down at the moment, and just wanted to get everything out really.

I have been trying to lose weight for the last 9 weeks, and I managed to lose 11lb. However, for the last 3 weeks, i have lost precisely squat! I am doing eveything the same as i was before - exercising regularly and following the same diet as before, but i still haven't lost anything for the last 3 weeks. I was so ashamed that i told H2B that i had lost 1lb last week when i hadnt.

I have talked about the fact that i cant seem to lose any more weight with him, and he is very supportive, and keeps reassuring me that it will start to come off again. He loves me as i am, and is more than happy with me and how i look, but i am not. My wedding isnt for another 13 months, but i want to start looking at dresses soon, and i dont want to be the size i am when i go (currently a size 18 on top, 20 on bottom half) - i had a traumatic experience when i first went looking in february, and i dont want to go through that again.

People also say that i have probably just reached a plateau and need to make some small changes e.g. increasing my exercise, which i am more than willing to do, but i cant understand how/why i have plateau'd when i still have so much more to lose (ideally another 3st, 3lb!!)? Does anyone have any ideas? I exercise every other day, and at first i was only exercising for 5 minutes each session, but now i am up to 12 minutes on the cross trainer, followed by 5 mins using wieghts, and i increase the time every 8 sessions. I dont eat bread/pasta/rice/potatoes except for one day a week, when, if i want to then i can, but i usually dont bother as i dont miss it. MY diet is mainly salad, protein, natural yoghurt, cottage cheese, vegetables and fish, with one day off as a treat day. I dont go mad on the treat days either - i might have a bar of chocolate or something, and we might have toast for breakfast with pasta or something for dinner, so its not like its take-aways and junky crap from morning to night on that day?

Its really getting to me now, and i feel like just going 'sod it' and eating whatever i want as nothing seems to be making a difference.It doesnt help that I work shifts, and last week worked nights and was also that time of the month, but these are just excuses - i didnt pig out on my nights, or eat differently when i was on my period, so what the hell has gone wrong? I just feel so rubbish - like i am useless and cant even do this right.

I want to look fabulous for my day, and to stay healthy weight wise after, but i cant even get there! I'm so miserable. H2B has been great, but i cant keep complaining to him, as its not fair, so thought would come on here really.

Sorry for the dump girls!